Train Wreck

"Train Wreck" is a pet name my chiropractor likes to call me on super special days like today. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Not.

As I lie here in bed on ice packs, missing yet another day of work, I have to wonder if I'm really going to be able to continue working Full Time like a "normal" person, or if I'm going to end up on Disability. The organization I work for right now has allotted me many wonderful blessings. I finally have a Monday-Friday 8:30am-5pm job. I never work on holidays. I get to take a two week, paid winter recess. And on top of it all, I'm finishing my degree for free at a prestigious school. What moron wouldn't just find a way to "make it work"?

The "make it work" solution has eluded me. It's not that I don't want it, which I have been accused of before. I just can't figure it out. My body is this puzzle that I'm constantly battling. It throws a different obstacle at me daily, often times multiple times a day. Just when I think I've got it managed, it throws another wrench in my pain management plan. And right now, I'm not doing a very good job at keeping up with it. 

At this point, I'm researching other solutions that will allow me to make the same, or close to the same amount of money, but where I can have more freedom if I'm having a really bad pain day. I currently hold a position to where if I'm not there, it's a pretty big hassle to find someone to cover me. And don't get me wrong, they have been more than understanding with me. But just a few weeks ago I did an 11 day stint in bed, 9 of those days were working days. Now I'm out again today. I know it looks bad to them, and I know they have a business to run. You put 2 and 2 together.

Employment options that give you more freedom are typically self-run/home-owned businesses or work from home stuff. I've researched work from home jobs extensively, and I'm having a difficult time finding the right fit. As much as I would LOVE to have a home-owned business, it's just not the time right now for Jeremy and I to go down that road. Someday perhaps, but not right now.

Next week I will be meeting with my rheumatologist. I'm having a full Thyroid Panel run and I'm having her test my Adrenal gland. But until then, until I get the results, I'm just stuck. I wake up in the morning and I hurt. I try to be optimistic and say, "Ok. I'll lay here 5 more minutes and maybe I'll feel better." But 5 minutes passes and it isn't better. So I try stretching for a little while. Still not better. So then I think maybe a shower will make it better...but it doesn't. Finally, I come to the realization that it's just not going to get better today. Those are the days that I stay home. Days like today, where I feel stuck and have no clue how to "make it work."

I am definitely a Train Wreck.

Insurance Companies are Communists

There is not nice way to say this:

My insurance company sucks. I have had nothing but trouble over the past two years since I started seeking treatment/diagnosis/etc. First it was my Chiropractor. God Bless him for helping us in spite of the crap my insurance pulled. I called them over and over and fought with them on the wording in the plan description. I consulted other people who had more experience with insurance lingo. Yet, the answer they gave me was, "It depends on how its interpreted."

SERIOUSLY!?! So what they were really saying was, "Well, today I feel like interpreting it so it says I'm going to leave you hanging with $1000's of bills even though we said we'd cover it at first."

Yep. Super awesome.

When I got hooked up with my Rheumatologist, I thought things were going alright. We had a very clear expectation of how much of the quarterly visits would be covered, plus all of the tests/x-rays/prescriptions that would be required during my diagnosis period. It still cost us a bit of money, but we made it work. We have finally gotten into a rhythm with my doctors visits and prescriptions...my pain management plan is working (mostly), and I feel better than I've felt in a long while. HOORAY! This is the ultimate goal of any chronic pain survivor!

Well go ahead and just smash that little happy bubble. A few days ago I received notification that as of January 1st, my insurance company is no longer going to cover my Cymbalta. For those of you who aren't as familiar with all of the different meds used to manage Fibro, Cymbalta is in a class of medications called selective SNRIs (serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors). It is used to treat Depression, Anxiety, pain from Fibromyalgia, Chronic Low Back Pain, Osteoarthritis pain, and nerve pain from Diabetes. 

Cymbalta works differently for everyone, but for me personally it has been an AMAZING help. I have been on several different anti-depressants throughout my life, and from a psychiatric standpoint, Cymbalta has worked the best. (My husband and mother will attest to this too!) 

Some of you may be thinking, "Why don't you just ask for the generic?" or "Why don't you just switch to something else?"

It isn't that easy. Cymbalta has no generic available. It is extremely expensive. WITH my insurance, I was paying close to $50 for a 30day supply. WITHOUT my insurance, it will now be impossible for us to afford it. 

How much is it without insurance? <Drumroll>

$220 for a 30day supply. (For context, that's more than my car payment.) 

Needless to say, I'm going to have to change meds. Again. 

Let me tell you, transitioning from one anti-depressant to another is NOT a happy fun time. You have to be weened off of one completely before starting the new one. For me, my sensory overload gets put on over-drive, my (emotional) nerves freak out, and in general, I am just NOT fun to be around. High-strung and crazy is an under-statement. Or at least that's how I feel like I am during the transition.

So....I'm extremely fearful of the transition...and I'm especially fearful that whatever medication I get put on will not work as well as the Cymbalta does. 

So there you have it. Insurance Companies are Communists.

Update

Hello All!

Sorry I've been MIA for the past week. One of the many circumstances of picking and choosing where to spend my energy... my other responsibilities won. But I'm back with you now! This past week was insane. I'm starting to realize I may have, once again, over-extended myself by committing to too much. BUT, I can fix it. I think.

Currently I'm committed to working on 3 websites, in addition to this blog. Luckily all of that can be done while sitting at a computer, which isn't too physically demanding. It's just time consuming and brain draining at times. I know all my fellow bloggers can most certainly relate. In addition, to the  3 websites, Joy and I are currently planning Faith, Hope, and Fibro's 3yr Anniversary in February, we have our weekly group meetings, I'm planning (and executing) Christmas shopping for 26 people, wrapping said gifts for 26 people, then there is rehearsal on Wednesday nights at church for Sunday singing, Bible Study after rehearsal, Church on Sunday, and I'm back to working 40hrs a week M-F.

Yes. I'm insane. However, I'm not complaining about any of it, please don't misunderstand. I am HAPPY to be involved with such wonderful people and events. And I am EXTREMELY thankful for my job. In fact, this job has been such a HUGE blessing to Jeremy and I. 6 months ago, I was basically bed-ridden and on the verge of losing my job. This is a HUGE improvement. The most important thing for me is to find the "happy medium," though. So far, I'm doing much better at pacing myself. Some may see it as procrastination, (which I also do), but in this case I'm just making sure I'm taking care of myself a midst all of the responsibility. There's no need for me to land myself in a mess of pain, which will inevitably turn into resentment, during the holidays.

Historically speaking, Christmas has been a really hard time for me. This year is my first Christmas as Mrs. Baylee Bass, and I am doing EVERYTHING I can to make sure it's one of the best Christmas' in my life in spite of the fact that not all circumstances are ideal. 

The Life of Retail: Oh, the Humanity!

(My retail friends and fellow retail retirees will appreciate this.)

Oh my, where do I even begin. 

Retail is one of the most common jobs in the United States. From small businesses to big corporations such as Wal-Mart, Best Buy, and Macy's, retail is everywhere. It is what I consider one of the many unfortunate necessary evils in our world. There are so many things that go into making a Retail business successful. This post will be speaking mostly about the bigger Corporations.

Several roles are required to run a large Retail business. Remember the PC game Sim's Theme Park? You created this huge theme park and had to place workers everywhere to run the place. Little messages would pop up and alert you to complain about puke not getting cleaned up fast enough from one of the roller-coasters, or the trash not getting taken out fast enough. It was intricate, and unless you could effectively manage all of these little imaginary people, your customers would walk out because your bathrooms smelled or you ran out of corn dogs. Sometimes you'd get so many notifications it'd get over-whelming. Ridiculous for just a game right? Welcome to retail.

Let's rewind the clock to five years ago, when the economy still sucked, but it sucked just a little less. 

There was a different team for everything....

Inventory: Received the truck, pulled down the big items like TV's and large appliances, performed carry-outs for customers, did weekly counts of the items in the store, and they sent back items to manufacturer's that were "past their date of selling".

Merchandising: Stocked items, put signs up in the store, changed all of the prices and set the new ad on Sundays.

Loss Prevention/Asset Protection: Basically security. They watched the cameras, greeted customers as they came in, and said good-bye as they left. Checked receipts, called for carry-outs.

Customer Service: Returns/Exchanges

Cashiers: Rang stuff up (duh)

Sales: In my previous employer's terms that would mean MP3, TV's, Audio, Computers, Appliances, Cameras, and Media (CD's/Movies/Video Games) were all separate. 

I think you get the idea of the separate department thing now. Each of these departments had their on personal supervisor and manager. That's A LOT of sups and managers. And that's just at the store level. When you start adding in District and Territory support, corporate teams in charge of writing the HR policies, the out-sourced call centers for HR support, payroll, accounting, marketing....then you have the international relationships. It's fascinating how many people are involved, just so people can walk into a brick and mortar store and buy a new release movie every Tuesday, or a new TV because the most recent thunderstorm zapped theirs out. 

Now fast-forward to the present. The thousands of people who made up that very corporation...take a third of it away. The amount of different roles in the store, cut it in half. In stores that used to run 6 managers, they now only have 3. Where there used to be 8 supervisors, there are only 4. (Yes I'm sure you understand the concept of "half" but I'm shooting for context here.) Keep in mind, even though the number of employees has decreased, the number of tasks and responsibilities to run the business has not decreased.

I get it. The economy SUCKS right now. Sure, cut the amount of jobs. That will save boat loads of money. Everyone is doing it. But what does this mean for all of the store level employees? More work and more responsibilities. Aren't all of the District, Territory, and Corporate employees affected too? What about the ones who lost their jobs at the Corporate level? Well I'll tell you what happens. Most of them will receive a large severance package that will keep them going for quite a while. And those who didn't lose their jobs? Well they still get to work Monday through Friday, leave at 5pm, and spend evenings, weekends, and holidays with their families. They get to take 4 or maybe more vacations a year because the business will run without them.


The store level employees however work the nights and weekends and holidays, so consumers can wait last minute to buy gifts, so people can go buy a TV at 9 o'clock at night. (Who needs to buy a TV that late at night!?!?) I get it though. It comes with the territory, you say. That's what you sign up for when you decide to work retail. And it all comes down to money. People need to make money so they can support their families. Retailers need to make money, so they make their products available for more hours per day to be consumed, just in case someone might think, "Hey. I think I'd like a new TV," at 9pm one night. It's all about money. That's what makes our world go 'round. Money, money, money. 

So the pressure from Corporate starts coming down on Territory staff, then it trickles down to District, then they put pressure on the store Managers, which then gets transferred down to the store employees. The store employee who was once responsible for one department instead of four departments feels the pressure. Oh man, do they ever. They are expected to work longer hours, over-time, answer their personal phone any time of day even when it's their day off, and even expected to come in on their day off. What about their personal life? Well you can forget it. Unfortunately, it seems the money is more important.

This, my friends, is NOT what a person signs up for when they choose to work retail. Not if you're working part-time and getting paid minimum wage with no benefits or bonuses. When the head count gets cut, the responsibility increases for those that are left. But it's funny how the pay doesn't increase. Even if only the increase was a small amount, the money could still save money. It seems though that the majority of the bigger corporations have lost sight of the fact that it's their employees that make them the money they're so obsessed with. This brings me to my next point....

BLACK FRIDAY: The biggest shopping day of the year next to Christmas Eve. It's what every large Retailer spends their entire year planning for, and where you'll see fights break out over a "good deal" on the most popular toy of the year as early as 2am. When you choose to work retail, you inevitably sign up for working Black Friday. It's a non-negotiable. I'm sure you all have noticed though that over the years, the opening time has started creeping up a little earlier each year. When I first started retail, we opened Black Friday at 5 or 6am. (It was a while ago, I don't remember exactly.) The opening was early, but it allowed the employees who had to work the morning shift to at least spend a full day celebrating Thanksgiving with their families the day before, and get a semi-normal nights sleep before encountering the craziness that is Black Friday. This past Black Friday, my 6th in retail, we opened at midnight. MIDNIGHT! Employees working the morning shift had to show up as early as 10pm on Thanksgiving night. That day, our store was open a full 23hours straight. So not only did we have to come in earlier, some of us worked anywhere from 11-18hr shifts. Some of us were lucky and got to split them between two shifts and catch a nap at home in between. But several people commute to work, so running home and taking a nap wasn't really an option in between shifts. So in order to get enough rest to work the insane amount of hours that day, most people had to cut their Thanksgiving day festivities short. I personally went to bed at 3pm Thanksgiving day, to wake up at 8pm and get ready for my 14hrs of craziness. I got to see my family for 3 hours on Thanksgiving. Some "holiday" right?

This year, Wal-Mart has announced they will be opening their doors for Black Friday on Thursday at 8pm. This is two hours earlier than last year when they opened on Thanksgiving day at 10pm. They aren't the only ones either! See a list of retail store opening times here. 

First off, It's called Black FRIDAY!!!! For pete's sake. But, as we established earlier, its about making that extra buck. Who cares that the employees are going to be sacrificing time with their families. Now I will say, some companies are offering incentives to those willing to open on Black Thursday/Friday. Target is offering bonuses to their employees who will come open their doors at 9pm on Thanksgiving night. However, Wal-Mart is offering NOTHING. And I'm sure they aren't the only ones. And because of that, this is what they're getting.

That's right. As stated in the article, employees started their strike in October. A full two months before Black Friday. 160 employees walked out between 28 different stores. Now while this is a very small amount compared to Wal-Marts 1.4million US employees, it's a start. Tons of other strikes are planned for Black Friday that will include more people walking out, Flash Mobs, and other special surprises. What will it take to make this insanity stop? As also stated in the article, employees have attempted several times to organize a Union to stop the inhumane treatment. But Wal-Mart leadership retaliates on these employees by cutting their hours, basically forcing them to find other jobs to support their families. (I'm pretty sure that's illegal.)

Wal-Mart is just an example of the crazy treatment employees are receiving in the world of retail, where customers money comes first. As consumers, I must ask you, when dealing with anybody regarding business, please remember they are humans, too.They deserve to be treated as so, not as servants. Especially in a Retail environment. When it comes to the Holidays, namely Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, remember those employees have families too. And although they did sign up to work retail, they don't always get to choose the conditions they are put in just to make a living for their families. Furthermore, please don't be one of those jerks that walks in 5 minutes before closing on Christmas Eve, then get angry when they kick you at precisely at closing time. It's not their fault YOU waited until the last minute to buy your gifts. And it's most certainly not their fault YOU waited until the last day of the sale to come pick up the $199 laptop the ad said the store would only have 5 of. 

<Let the comments commence. Family friendly venting is encouraged.>